“I asked my therapist for an extra session for a crisis. Basically, she said I ‘seem fine’, which really pissed me off. How do I address this? I feel hurt and invalidated.”
I get your reaction, but your therapist is offering you something hugely valuable.
“You seem fine” isn’t an invalidation of the emotions you’re feeling, or your struggle with those emotions. It’s a simple observation that these things aren’t actually harming you.
You still have your life, your arms, your legs. You aren’t suddenly starving or in the intensive care unit. You are fine, even while your emotions are making you miserable. You don’t need to see those emotions as running your life, or stealing away your happiness.
Your therapist can see this more easily than you simply because she’s outside of you.
If you can learn to step back and see your own emotions objectively- “oh look, fear”… “hey that’s- anger”. You’ll recognize that they often happen without rhyme or reason, and they’re just flashing dashboard lights. Signals your brain gives you when things happen in your world.
Often they’re pretty random.
Often they’re flat-out wrong.
Often they have nothing at all to do with the “problem” you think you have. I struggled with stress for years, until one day I realized that 90% of it was the ridiculous amounts of caffeine I was drinking. Also the complete lack of exercise.
Emotions are normal. Everyone has them.
The way to make yourself miserable is to panic, and take them over-seriously. “OMG the low on fuel light turned on, now we’re all going to dieee…” Yeah I’m massively exaggerating. But I suspect you can probably see some truth in this.
Your therapist wants you to see this, too.
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