Self-Esteem v. Self-Confidence

Written by
Michael Wells

Self-Esteem v. Self-Confidence

What's the difference?

Written by
Michael Wells

Self-Esteem v. Self-Confidence

What's the difference?

Written by
Michael Wells
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QUESTION
"Is it possible to have low self-esteem and have true high self-confidence? Can you separate self-esteem from self-confidence?"

It's theoretically possible, but it's very unlikely to encounter a combination like that, because...

Self-esteem and self-confidence are based on different things.

What's Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is an internal, personal measurement of your "worth" right now, in-this-moment, when you're doing nothing.

In that measurement you're either awesome, or your crap or you're somewhere in-between.

Self-esteem is all about how you feel about yourself, as you are, right-now, as in "I like myself," or "I don't like myself."

What's Self-Confidence?

Self-confidence is a measurement of how limited or unlimited you feel in your ability to take action.

Either you believe that you can pursue your goals in life, and handle whatever happens along the way, or you believe that you cannot pursue you goals in life, and cannot handle the resulting failure or success.

A self confident person needs these three beliefs;

  1. I believe it's possible for me to succeed
  2. I believe that I can handle the results of success
  3. I believe that I can equally handle the results of failure

Self-confidence is all about how you feel about your future, and your ability to shape it. It's "I believe I can," or "I believe I can't."

Can Low Self-Esteem and High Self-Confidence Co-Exist?

Although they're not directly related, it would be very difficult for these two mindsets to co-exist, for two reasons...

High Self-Confidence Kills Low Self-Esteem

As you develop self-confidence, self-esteem becomes irrelevant. Your attention can only be on one thing, and that means that when it's on your future, your present situation - whatever it may be - is unimportant.

With high self-confidence, your attention isn't on where you're at, it's on where you can go next.

Low Self-Esteem Kills High Self-Confidence

However, if you have very low self-esteem, it will be difficult to build self-confidence, because you'll never take action towards the things you want.

Your attention will be focused entirely on your miserable "now," and you'll pessimistically assume failure about everything in life. You'll never try, and never get off the sofa. In the rare occasions when you find yourself near success, you'll subconsciously self-sabotage.

How do I Develop Self-Confidence?

Ah, that's another great discussion.

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First published on 
. Last updated on 
December 26, 2020

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