"Ok, but we're mammals too. Doesn't the alpha male concept apply to human groups?"

If you watch Frans de Waal's TED talk, the way we're using the term now is wrong.

In fact, I can't think of anyone I know who fits the alpha male description- the guy who gets all the perks and social approval- but who also shoulders full responsibility for protecting the tribe, and is the first to charge at danger when it comes.

Politicians might be our charismatic, confident, elected leaders, but generally they're not so good at protecting the tribe. Many politicians just want the perks without the risk & responsibility... and that's not an alpha.

Personally, I think the idea of classifying men into types really isn't useful or meaningful.

When people ask me how to become "more alpha," I explain my views this way...

"Ok so then if Alpha doesn't fit, how do you describe human social archetypes?"

Easily. I don't.

The lineal nature of our brain loves categorizing things.

Where people are concerned, we like to group people by gender, race, culture, educational or financial levels... we like to group people by social position and personality type.

We even rank attractiveness on a 1 to 10 scale.

So it makes sense someone would notice patterns and make an effort to describe and name them...

Alpha male, Beta male, Omega male, Sigma male.

But here's the central question-

Does it improve your life to fit someone else's arbitrary definition of these groups?

If you believe so, then how exactly?

You're a unique individual, with a unique personality and temperament. Why try to force your foot into someone else's shoe?

That seems very uncomfortable and pointless to me.

Instead, spend that mental energy on more useful things in your personal growth.

1. Identify your strengths, and learn to capitalize on them.

2. Identify your weaknesses, figure out which ones are impediments to what you want in life, and improve on them.

That's pretty much it. That's a clear path forward, to a better you.

Someday, you can label yourself it's it's important to you...

... but long before then, you'll have become the best person you can be, and that's the whole point.

Personal note- how I see myself and what I am aiming for in my social world

I don't think of myself as "alpha" or pursue that position in my social groups, even in groups that I founded.

I've found that more balanced, less-top-heavy social structures are far more powerful, flexible, and sustainable.

Even in my businesses - which are clearly "mine" - I've found it best if there are 2 or 3 partners who are equally valued, with equal authority, to share the burden and tackle problems together.

I might make the key financial decisions, or I might make the key product decisions, or I might make the key sales decisions... but creating a society where no one person hold all the power has huge benefits.

• It gives you moments where you can rest, completely, knowing that you're not dropping the ball.
• It lets you sleep better at night, knowing that you're not the only single point of responsibility for everything.
• It helps you avoid blindness to important things you just didn't see. They way I like to describe this is that a single human only has two eyes and a limited field of view. Two humans, back-to-back, can see pretty much everything. That means the opportunities, and the risks, don't get easily missed.
• It allows you to stay balanced, knowing someone else will challenge you when you're off track in your personal or professional life.

In my groups, I always seek to balance my own self-improvement with the improvement of the group, 50/50. That's the relationship I'm looking for- a strong degree of mutual benefit.

If either of us isn't getting value out of the relationship, something's wrong, and I'll adjust the relationship or in rare cases, find it's best to simply end it and invest elsewhere.

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